The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir Review

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The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir ReviewIt is hard to decide where to start this review. I am a Mormon. I joined the Church at age 30, almost 45 years ago. I have lived in the Mormon Singles life then, when I joined, and then after my wife died following 35 years of marriage, I entered the scene again as a seventy-something adult. I know something about the scene Elna Baker paints, and it is so true to life it almost hurts. If you doubt that, take a look at Unfinished Business which tells about a twenty-something new widow entering the singles scene of the Church.
Mormon literature has a tendency to be very self-conscious. In-group terms are carefully avoided either "because non-members wouldn't understand them", or because of a desire not to offend folks not of our faith. Elna not only resists the temptation to fit either of those molds, she writes a memoir that is so candid, so complete, that some of the TBMs (True Blue Mormons) among us might not wish to read the book, or even admit that it exists. Still other TBMs might feel that Sister Baker should be kicked out of the Church. Let me assure you, that is a decision that would only take place between her and her Bishop -- and my guess is that isn't on any nearby horizon.
So, if you are a Mormon, caught by that word appearing in the title of the book, my recommendation? Get it and read it. If you are a TBM, and worried about the Satanic influences of the world corrupting our youth? Get it, read it, and have your eyes opened. If you are not a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? Just get it, read it, and learn a vast amount of the real truth about what real Mormons are like, and how they think.
Elna's journey from upbringing in the most conservative and structured environment to becoming an actress and standup commedienne in New York. Her journey through her first kiss at age 22, to still being a virgin by choice at age 26, and her discovery of love, of life, and of the personal God that truly answered prayers for her is utterly enchanting.The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir Overview

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Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family Review

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Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family ReviewI checked out a copy of "Family First" from the public library. By the time I read a few chapters I returned the library's copy and bought my own. The chapter on "Parenting Style" is worth the price of the book, especially for the little test to determine if your style is authoritarian, equalitarian or permissive. Also helpful is the test to determine if your child is rebellious, cooperative or passive. It is important to know something of your own personality and your child's to determine how you (and your spouse) are going to teach and discipline. I teach "Marriage and Family" for a college and I will be incorporating these two tests in my curriculum.
Also, I really enjoyed the stories he told about family. One particularly moving story is when his dad would not let him drive one night because of bad weather. Even though Phil argued his case and lost, he says he is glad his dad didn't relent. His parents loved him enough to set up boundaries. They valued Phil's life more than they did his agreement on their decisions. His dad was decisive and strong and Phil respected that. Phil apologized to his friend for ruining the plans. His friend looked at him with tear filled eyes and said, "I wish my parents cared enough about me to tell me I couldn't go. They wouldn't care if I drove straight off a cliff."
Phil writes, "It struck me that though John had asked his parents for permission to go to the game, what he had really needed was for them to provide some boundaries and leadership." (Pp.157-58). Parents, even though discipline is sometimes difficult, it does communicate to our children that we care.
I like to use Dr. Phil's book in conjunction with Dr. James Dobson's "The New Strong-Willed Child" and "Parenting Isn't for Cowards" in parenting classes and situations that I teach. (See my reviews on the Dobson books). I recommend all three books.Family First: Your Step-by-Step Plan for Creating a Phenomenal Family Overview

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El Desafio del Amor: Atrevete a Amar Review

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El Desafio del Amor: Atrevete a Amar Review
It is helpfhul for any age of mariege, its easy to read and helps to see how different could be the life when you decide to teke control of your heart.
Realy I think all cuple had have one of this book in you table night, to read and practice day by day.
Sorry my Engish is to bad, but realy I Like it, and is wonderful to know that sometimes, a picture and the book could help to renovate your life for yourself, sons, some friends.
I buy one book and picture por each of ours four sons that all are maried.
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Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love Review

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Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love ReviewWell, here's a disclaimer. I'm a cynic, a misanthrope and pessimist. Why on earth would someone like me even attempt to date? More puzzling, why would I pick up a dating book? Got me. I got lucky with Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted and I recommend it, but this book practically made me gag.
As you might guess from the title, it's an action plan and workbook all rolled into one. There is fairly solid typical advice that even I have heard before: positive thinking, putting yourself out there, go where the boys are, date a pair and a spare, etc.
Where it all falls apart is in the specifics. The author has a fairy-tale-ish, saccharine writing style that I couldn't cope with. Your significant other or spouse is the "Beloved" or "The One". Your relationship role model is your "Master Love Mentor". I'm sorry, but every time I see that it makes me think of dungeons and dominatrices! As part of the positive thinking angle, she advises the reader to choose a secret, special name for herself that will make her feel wonderful, unique and loved. Examples are "Princess Thus-and-such" and "Duchess Twinkle-toes". Not really. But along those lines. Again, I'm sorry but I'm 40 years old, not 4. I'm looking for a man with a job and a brain - not a frog in a golden crown that burps up fairy dust.
Also, I found the book a bit disjointed. I kept skipping around because I'd bump into sections that seemed irrelevant and the author encourages you to jump ahead and read specific sections relevant to your situation.
The only redeeming quality of the book is the last part that discusses the qualities of happy marriages. It was the only section that didn't have me groaning and rolling my eyes.Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love Overview

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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands Review

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The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands ReviewFirst, let me say that I am a very independent, very headstrong, liberal wife who has a higher education than her husband (masters' degree), owns a business and takes no B.S. from anyone. When this book came out, I truly thought it was a joke. WHO WOULD WRITE A BOOK LIKE THIS OUTSIDE OF THE 1950s?! And WHERE IS THE "PROPER CARE... OF WIVES"?! To add 'insult', a coworker of my husband (whose wife stays at home with their 4 kids because they feel that this is THE role wives are SUPPOSED TO take on), is the one who offered to lend it to me. I thought, "this will be interesting" but can't criticize until giving it a shot, right???
Ok - there's the background - here's the review:
I couldn't put the book down and read it in a just over a day. While I don't agree 100% with all that Dr. Laura says, and as another reviewer commented that there are parts that men may find insulting, this book has changed my life, and as a result it has changed my husband's life - both for the better. After 7 years of marriage, we are clicking like we never have before. I can't explain it to you, or to my married best friends whose jaws dropped as I confessed to them over margaritas that I NOT ONLY READ the book but I LOVED the book.
All I can say is that the foundation makes sense. It doesn't bash working women - Dr. Laura is one, after all. But it does point out, not so discreetly, that your family - the family you have chosen to create - should come above all else. And that the EXTREMISM of some aspects of the feminist movement is self-destructive to women, men and society as a whole.
And as I turned each page and as I tried to rebel against some parts (I shouldn't BURDEN him with the tales of MY day??!), peel away the layers, let down your defenses and let it make sense. (It isn't that my day is less significant, but men and women communicate differently - vent to him about your day and he'll feel like a second class citizen and a failure for not being able to fix your stress. Vent to your girlfriends and they'll dish with you! Focus your time on your husband, family, relationship, etc., once you get home instead.) AND LET ME TELL YA once you leave the work day at the door, your home becomes YOUR HOME again, too. So it's win-win! REALLY!!!
Dr. Laura's book includes parts and pieces of past calls and letters, which is a helpful, practical demonstration of her points and breaks things up so you don't feel like you're getting a lecture (especially if you are ready to admit you've been doing a few thngs wrong!). And as you can see the lightbulb go on with average Janes all over the country and across time in the dialogue- from them pushing back on her advice to (aha!) getting her message during their conversations, you see the pettiness we can cling to and frankly, the underlying simplicity in each of her messages.
OK - still skeptical? Then rent it at the library for free and give it a shot. Just TRY to put her ideas into practice - commit to changing for a week (if you aren't sold on changing your life)... What's the worst that can happen? If it's all wrong for you, you have just lost a quick week and you can pat yourself on the back for being right and you can write your own book. ;-)
But just think - what if it WORKS?! Then you will find a new meaning in your life that you didn't know you were missing. You will have a much happier and rewarding marriage. Your husband will adore you. (Sounds rough, huh?)
TRUST ME - I'm not about to become a submissive, mindless person rather than an equal partner in a relationship. But as I made a few MINOR tweaks in how I treat the man I chose to marry and spend the rest of my life with, I have received rewards from him 10-fold. And to think I thought I was doing it 'right' all along. ;0)
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We'll Always Have Summer Review

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We'll Always Have Summer ReviewAhh. It's spring finally and though this is the perfect beach read, love is in the air. If you've read the other two books in the Summer series by Jenny Han, you'll appreciate that we finally get closure in the final book in the series. Belly, now in college and known as Isabel, has been dating Jeremiah for two years and though the course has not always been smooth, it's been pretty good and they are in love. So when they decide to get married they can't understand why everyone is so against it. Didn't everyone expect her to marry one of the Fisher boys and everyone knows you can't count on Conrad. The obvious choice is Jeremiah. Isn't it?
Okay, you know that much from the book jacket so no spoilers there. This book explores Belly's and Jeremiah's relationship and a few bumps they face in it leading up to the big question. Then all the problems that question causes. Jenny Han writes that part of the book-the headlong rush into marriage just like that. There is a flurry of planning and questions and troubles and the book rushes too so that you can feel the underlying panic, maybe, that both Belly and Jeremiah feel to get it over and done with. Belly wants to prove that she loves Jeremiah. And maybe Jeremiah wants her to say "I do" before his brother can enter their lives again. For some reason there is a sense of urgency and as a reader, I felt it too, rushing through the book as I read. Yes, Belly loved Con, when she was younger. He was her first love, but hey we all remember our first loves. Some of us fondly, some not so fondly. But, they have a part of our hearts because they were the first to break them. This was true with Con. He hurt Belly and she ran off to Jeremiah. The question is did she choose him, one of the two she loved or was he the one she loved?
And then in this book, we finally get a peek into Conrad's head. Thank God! He'd always seemed like a heartless bastard before and I could never figure out what he wanted. He just seemed to be toying with Belly. And he seemed to delight in hurting her except for those six months they dated. Now we find out just how he felt and his motivations and it all makes sense. It's kind of like getting a chance to see inside Edward's head in Midnight Sun. (Twilight fans will know what I'm writing about.) The distant, enigmatic Conrad becomes a real person in this novel and I say it's about time. In fact, it would have been nice to have had his perspective all along. It would have made for a more tragic love story. But maybe Ms. Han just wanted us to have a nice light series to keep us entertained. And I have been. I read this in about four hours, stopping only to help tape up the air conditioner in our room. It's light, easy reading and satisfying to the very end. I loved the ending. It didn't feel contrived, but very natural and Cousins like. Now, if we could all have grown up that way....
In previous books, Belly and the women were the most developed characters, but in this one, Jeremiah, Conrad, Laurel, Belly's mother and Taylor, Belly's best friend were well developed as well. Cousins, the beach where most of the action of the series takes place has always seemed like a character, the house, the beach, the pool, Belly's room, the kitchen table, each played a part in the series. Belly, Jeremiah, Conrad and Steven (Belly's brother) grew up in the house during the summers and monumental things happened there. If an inanimate object can be a character, then Cousins is definitely a character. It had it's effect on everyone. This would definitely qualify as a One Sit Read for me. I wasn't going to bed until I read the last page and I didn't cheat. It would have cheapened the series for me. I highly recommend this series for a light summer read, now that all three books are out and there are no cliffhangers. Teenage girls should love this one, but I'm way past that and eagerly anticipated this last book in the series so any YA lover looking for a nice easy read should read this series. I can't wait to see what Jenny Han writes next!
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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself Review

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Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself ReviewInstead of spending hours of your time, expressing how anxious and depressed I was, and for so many years, I'd share a few things that might tell my story of recovery in a more concise mode.
I had everything but had nothing. I had been Senior Class President, Top 2% in the Country during College, successful in modeling and acting, selected as Volunteer of the Year for the State of Iowa and the list of "stuff" could go on an on. I was so empty inside myself that I didn't any longer know how I felt inside. I was losing any sense of who I was.
I'd become someone that functioned to serve, protect, nurture, encourage, forgive and love someone that couldn't love back. I was with the same person, in a marriage, for almost 5 years, and woke up one morning and realized that the person next to me was a stranger who didn't know the real me. The person that my life revolved around, the person that I chose to take care of and "cover" for, just liked having me around so I could pick up the pieces and paint a picture of a relationship and a family that was like "Ozzie and Harriet" so that others would think that everything was just fine. I can't stand the word "fine" anymore. Nothing in my life was fine and it wasn't until I hit bottom and read "Codependent No More:How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself", that my life began to change. The book answered all of my questions and caused me to look deeply at myself and my situation and evalute how sick I was. Yes, I was the sick one in the relationship too.
I thought that I was doing everything right or doing what was right for my relationship. But I didn't ever consider that my own personal cup was empty and the only person who could fill it with healthy things was me. I didn't know that I was controlling others as I only saw myself as a caring and loving person. What had happened is that I went overboard-WAY overboard to the point that I had stopped eating, started using pills to medicate my pain and refused to make changes in my life.
I was scared. I didn't want to be alone in life. What I didn't realize is that I was already alone. I wanted to love and be loved. After reading this incredible book, I realized that I wasn't being loved. I was being used and abused and I needed to hit this emotional bottom before I would accept help. My therapist advised me to purchase "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie AND to read it. I almost felt odd going into the self-help are of the book store. Little did I know that the healthiest place in any book store is the aisle that reads "Self Help"!
I owe my life to this book and I thank all of the wonderful people who contributed to the stories in this book, that allowed me to move out of my relationship and to enter a long recovery period. I am still in the care of a therapist. Sometimes I act in a codependent fashion. The difference, however, is that I now see red flags that prevent me from getting too deep into relationships that I reach a point where I lose myself.
I offer this review to you as a gift. May this book help you, no matter what your circumstance, and may you take hold of your life again. You deserve to learn how to care for yourself. You deserve to be loved and to learn how to accept the beauty that comes with a healthy relationship.
My Warmest Regards to ALL!
Peter Cannice
Scottsdale, Arizona
Email: Horsepete@aol.com
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